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Kara’s Honest Juice Cleanse Experience

February 25, 2015 by Julie 20 Comments

juice cleanse

I’m sure we’ve all heard about the infamous juice cleanse. It’s been popularized in television and plastered across the internet with claims of weight loss, detoxification, and heightened senses. There’s a huge community of juicers, and there are several juice bars near me. Last week, I was feeling pretty off. My digestive track was a mess, and I was really feeling like I need to reset my body. So I did it. I took the plunge and did a juice cleanse. The following is my brutally honest experience.

Now I did my research. I knew if I was going to do the three-day cleanse, I needed to do some prep by changing my diet beforehand. But I’m also going on vacation on Saturday and plan on eating fish and chips every day for a week, thus undoing all my hard (and expensive) healthy habits, so I opted for a one-day cleanse with minimal prep instead.

So Wednesday morning I picked went to the juice bar and picked up my juice for the day. I felt optimistic. I felt excited. I felt ready to take charge and rid my body of toxins that were slowing me down.

Juice # 1 was dubbed C-blast. Orange. Kale. Lemon. Mint. Felt like brushing my teeth.
The following quotes are from the notes I took throughout the day.
“Not terrible. First sip was actually good.”
But later: “I foresee force drinking juice by the end.”

Indeed it’s true. I had to put myself on a time schedule to get each bottle down. I allowed for one hour per bottle and kept my pace: 1/4 every 15 min.

Around 10:30am I was getting hungry, so I drank a couple cups of water with fresh squeezed lemon. “Feels good.”

At noon I conquered my monolith. Beet juice.
“First sip: borscht.” And that was the best sip. The next 300 sips I had to alternate with lemon water, and I managed to finish on schedule. Though with the extra water, I was bursting at the seams and had to pee twice within 45 minutes. It’s amazing how fast it goes through you.

Third juice: Skinny greens. This bad boy of course had kale in it, and included a kick to the back of the throat with cayenne and ginger. It started out strong, but fine. And quickly deteriorated. “So. Much. Juice.” I came so close to finishing this bottle, but just couldn’t put it down. This is where I began to hit rock bottom.

“Headache. Hungry. So much pee.”

The rest of the night was pretty horrible. I’ll let my notes from the next day explain.

“I couldn’t finish all the juices. There were seven! I had a terrible headache and was starving so I ate cucumber, avocado, and banana for dinner and some broth. I was really craving hot food. It was too late. I got a migraine and threw it all up while simultaneously experiencing the side effects of drinking veggie juice all day. 9-10pm was a real bucket of fun.
This morning we had eggs and strawberries, and I used the raw almond milk from my juice cleanse package to make a smoothie with some frozen berries. Still not particularly appetizing.
I packed raw fruits & veggies for my lunch/snacks as needed, and I brought my last green juice – Green detox. It’s disgusting.
Verdict: juice cleanse sucks.
I’ve juiced before, and I thought my concoctions were delicious. So why are all the juices I bought so gross?”

Skyler and I were really puzzled over why someone who makes juice as a profession can’t make something that tastes good. In fact, we were laughing hysterically over it when he picked me up from work. Really. Hysterical laughter. After not having food all day, our emotions were a bit frayed.

So, has anyone else had better success with a juice cleanse?
Ultimately I’ve decided that this form of extremism is not for me. My body just can’t handle it. Hypoglycemia is one of my many migraine triggers, and I need to be more careful with changes to my diet & eating patterns. But the craze intrigued me, and I wanted to do something healthy to reset my body. Next time I’ll go raw for a day or vegan. But there will be solid food.

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Filed Under: stitched together

Comments

  1. alyeen lim says

    February 26, 2015 at 7:25 am

    I did a 7 day juice cleanse. I felt great but by the 8th day I could take no more!! I felt amazing, dropped 10 pounds, but sooo wanted hot food that you chew and swallow.

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    • Kara Thiot (@karathiot) says

      February 26, 2015 at 9:59 am

      I can’t even imagine going a whole week! Incredible! I was gagging at the thought of juice…. I pretty much eat constantly. I feel like a bottomless pit sometimes, always hungry, never full. The one day cleanse alone just about killed me.

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  2. Buffy Hall says

    March 1, 2015 at 12:26 am

    I’m sorry, but I laughed at the “So much pee” line. You are a much braver person than I. Have to draw the line at beets… The prospect of voluntarily downing a bottle of beet juice is too icky to contemplate. 😉

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    • Kara Thiot (@karathiot) says

      March 3, 2015 at 12:09 pm

      No need to be sorry; I was definitely “hangry” when I wrote that line 🙂

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  3. kcurrierlewis says

    March 5, 2015 at 8:29 am

    I had been thinking about doing a cleanse but it sounds like you had an absolutely terrible time with it! I’ll definitely be doing more research before I decide! Thank you for your honesty on your experience!
    xo, Kyla –

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  4. Abria @ Bee Splendid says

    March 5, 2015 at 8:41 am

    I always thought these cleanses sounded good in theory, but I knew I could never do it because I don’t have any spare weight to lose without getting into dangerous territory. After reading this, I’m kind of glad to be spared from the decision lol

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  5. Yaitza says

    March 5, 2015 at 11:23 am

    I have done a juice cleanse and I felt really great, it helped me incorporate some sort of juice or smoothie at least once a day! Thanks for sharing

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    • Kara Thiot (@karathiot) says

      June 17, 2015 at 7:21 pm

      A juice or smoothie a day is a much better goal. I still need to work on that.

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  6. Tori says

    March 5, 2015 at 11:23 am

    I’m not sure that I could ever do a cleanse like this. I would be WAY too hungry after missing the first meal!

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    • Kara Thiot (@karathiot) says

      June 17, 2015 at 7:29 pm

      There are definitely much better, less extreme options. Replacing one meal, or just adding a juice would still be super good for you, and much more doable!

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  7. trulypeppermint - Kristen says

    March 5, 2015 at 11:53 am

    haha! love the honesty! I have debated over a juice cleanse many times, but with 2 toddlers, i just can’t imagine not eating! Plus, i get very hangry very easily! If i try, i will know to make my own juices! PS have you tried enemas? that’s a great way to cleanse without depriving you tummy…

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    • Kara Thiot (@karathiot) says

      June 17, 2015 at 7:23 pm

      I am a hangry nightmare when I don’t eat enough. Seriously – I try to eat 5 meals a day. Don’t know what possessed me to give up food for a day!

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  8. candi says

    March 5, 2015 at 12:46 pm

    I too, loved the “so much pee” line. lol Thanks for your honesty! Juice cleanses are tough!

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    • Kara Thiot (@karathiot) says

      June 17, 2015 at 7:27 pm

      Thanks!

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  9. Ashley says

    March 5, 2015 at 1:17 pm

    I have never tried juicing but I feel like I would react the same way you did. I need food like legit food. I have been trying the slim fast powder and skim milk – I drink 16 oz of it a day – 8oz for breakfast then maybe an orange and a cheese stick at around 12 then another 8oz at about 2:30 then maybe a yogurt at about 4 and it seems to be working – it doesn’t do exactly like the juicing where it cleanses you but it seems to do the trick.

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    • Kara Thiot (@karathiot) says

      June 17, 2015 at 7:24 pm

      I’ve definitely done slim fast a few times. I like not having to think about what I’m going to eat & their snacks are pretty good, too. Good luck!

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  10. redheadloves says

    March 5, 2015 at 6:38 pm

    I’ve done a 3day juice cleanse a couple of times and I’ve always enjoyed them. Don’t get me wrong, they are hard and you hate the fact that you can’t just pick up a pack of cheez-its, but I really found them worth it. They gave me a good reset and cut out my junk food cravings.

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    • Kara Thiot (@karathiot) says

      June 17, 2015 at 7:27 pm

      Fortunately I kicked the worst of my junk food habits a while ago. My body just cannot handle junkie snacks or fast food anymore. I was looking forward to promised benefits of the juice cleanse like glowing skin – oh well! I’m impressed by your multiple juice cleanses!

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  11. Astrid says

    March 11, 2015 at 4:44 am

    This sounds awful. I’m curious what brand of juice cleanse did you get?

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    • Kara Thiot (@karathiot) says

      June 17, 2015 at 7:20 pm

      I went to The Juice Bar – and apparently they have other yummy juices, but my pack did not include any of them. Read: no fruit. Just raw veggie juice all day. I love vegetables, but it was a beating (or beeting, depending on how much beet juice you drink!)

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